Without Him
by Tseli
Summary: A semi-serious fic.  WARNING: I killed off Usagi!
1. Next Morning

**Hello and good morning/afternoon/evening/middle-of-the-night! I'm so very sorry I haven't updated lately! I've been busy working on a graphic novel type thing with my friend.....it's for my creative writing class and it's due this coming Wednesday, so I've spent almost every moment that I'm not at school or asleep sitting on her sisters' bed writing and messing with her laptop.....haha! Anywhp-za-wutz-it! I've decided to try my hand at writing a serious fanfic! What think you, people who sometimes read my incoherent babbling? Should I attempt something so drastically different from what I normally write? (It really is....even my stories for creative writing are never serious.....lol)**

**Here is a hesitant beginning for a serious-type fic......and I mean hesitant. I'm not sure if I'll keep going with this or not....**

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION: I do not own Junjou Romantica nor do I own any of the characters.....just sayin'.....:D**

"_Yesterday, hundreds mourned the loss of renowned author, Usami Akihiko. Usami, age 31, died unexpectedly of natural causes on Monday. The memorial service was held yesterd—" _Misaki blinked in confusion as the newscaster's image fizzed away. He looked away from the television to see Sumi holding the remote.

"Misaki?" Sumi set the remote down on the coffee table. "You're in the same place I left you last night. And in the same clothes."

Misaki looked down at the suit he was wearing. "Oh…I guess I forgot to go change." He tried to smooth out some of the larger wrinkles without success.

"You promised your brother you'd be okay by yourself, but you don't look very okay to me."

"No, I'm okay! I was just tired and fell asleep here, that's all!" The dark circles under his eyes told a different story. It was obvious that he hadn't slept in days.

Sumi sighed. "Well, all right. Go upstairs and change. I brought you some food; I'll put it in the fridge for you."

"Thanks, Sempai. I appreciate it." Misaki smiled; it made him look even more tired than before. He went obediently upstairs to change.

***stares at screen in horror* Ugh....this is terrible.....but, my brain is starting to fizz away like the newscaster and I have no power left to fix anything.......I've had a long day.....haha! Please, review and tell me if you think I should maybe run with this....if so, I might come back and fix this so it's less brain melting.......not that there's any hope for my brain.......goodnight.....*slumps onto keyboard* Thank you for reading!**


	2. Phone Call

**Hello again! I feel so accomplished......two pieces of one story, two days in a row! Whoo~! *applauseapplause* Yes, thank you, thank you! *stroking my own ego* Well, even though I'm freakishly tired right now, I decided that I was in the mood to write some more fanfiction! So here I am, typing away, staring at my computer screen like a zombie! I feel like a zombie....=___=**

**So, for your viewing pleasure (or not, I guess it depends), the next piece of my serious (?) Junjou fic!**

_Bbbrrrrriiinnnngggg!!!!_ _Bbbrrrrriiinnnngggg!!!!_

_Click. _"Hello, Usami resi--I mean...Takahashi speaking."

"_Misaki? It's Takahiro."_

"Oh, Nii-chan! I just saw you yesterday. You didn't have to call this early!"

_"I wanted to make sure you were all right. You seemed really out of it the last few days..."_

"I'm fine, Nii-chan."

_"Are you sure? I could take a few more days off from work and--"_

"No! You don't need to do that! I'm fine, really!"

_"...you were close, weren't you? You seemed like you had become very good friends."_

"...yeah, I guess we were. It's....quiet around here. You know, all by myself..."

_"..."_

"Nii-chan?"

_"Are you sure you don't want me to come stay with you for a few days? I don't want to just leave you all alone..."_

"It's okay, really. I'll be too busy to be lonely! Work and classes and all that....I'm still not finished with college, you know."

_"If you're sure..."_

"I'm sure, Nii-chan. I'm 21 now; I can look after myself, I promise. And besides, I have Suzuki-san and his extended family here with me. I'm not alone."

_"Haha! I suppose you aren't....well, I have to get to work. I'll call you when I get home."_

"All right. Bye, Nii-chan."

_"Bye, Misaki. Relax today, okay?"_

"Okay, I will. Talk to you later."

_"I love you, little brother."_

"Yeah, love you, too."

_Click._

Misaki set the phone back on the cradle and turned around to face the empty apartment. Suzuki-san was on the couch; Misaki went over and sat down next to the large stuffed bear.

"Well, Suzuki-san, it's just you and me now." Suzuki-san said nothing, as expected.

A deep sadness welled up inside Misaki's heart; he wrapped his arms around the bear and buried his face into it, seeking comfort from something Usagi-san had held dear.

**The more I think about this fic, the sadder I make myself! How dare I kill off Usagi-san! Bad Tseli! *headdesk* I thought about killing off Nowaki or Hiro-san.....but Usagi is the one I chose. *shrug* Well, hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


	3. Night Before

**I'M SOOOORRRRRYYYYYY! Please forgive me for taking so long to update! I've been thinking on this one forever, trying to decide where I was going with the whole Usagi dying thing....I've had a sticky note on my wall next to my desk that says "WRITE ABOUT USAGI DYING NOW!" and it's been there forever....I see it every day yet I haven't been writing like I told myself to! D: But, I finally wrote something! Yay! And I'm actually quite happy with it so far (because I haven't let myself re-read it very many times and therefore haven't had the chance to tell myself that it's total crap and I should just throw it away). Well, I hope you like it! **

**Note: Remember, Usagi died on Monday. Just in case you've forgotten. :D**

SUNDAY NIGHT

"Usagi-san?"

"Hm?" Usagi turned a page of the book he was reading.

"If I died, do you think it would have any effect on the world?"

There was a moment of silence before Usagi looked up from his book to stare at Misaki. "What?"

"I said—"

"No, I heard you. What is this about?"

Misaki hastily looked away from Usagi's intense stare. "It's nothing. It was just something we talked about in one of my classes today. Forget I said anything!" He stood up and quickly walked into the kitchen. Looking back, he saw that Usagi had turned around and was watching him with a troubled expression on his face. It was just a random question. I didn't really expect an answer....I shouldn't have said anything. "Um, so, uh, what do you want for dinner? Anything specific?"

"Misaki…" Usagi stood up and started to walk over.

"Hey, are you thirsty? I'll get some drinks!" Misaki opened the fridge and stuck his head inside—anything to hide his face. The tender way Usagi had spoken his name had caused his face to turn bright red. Dammit, why does he get me so flustered like this? Get a hold of yourself Misaki!

He quickly grabbed the closest beverage—a can of beer—and pulled his head back out. "Is beer okay? I need to go shop—mph!" Misaki dropped the can of beer and it rolled away. Usagi kissed him fiercely, ignoring Misaki's attempted protests. Only when Misaki went limp in his arms did he stop.

"Wha—wha—wha—?" Misaki gasped for breath. His face was bright scarlet now. "What was that for?"

"I love you, Misaki." Usagi kissed him again, tenderly. Misaki tried again to resist, but it was no use; he gave in and kissed Usagi back.

* * *

"Misaki…."

"Unnnn…?" Misaki was curled up on the couch, his head in Usagi's lap.

The writer ran his fingers through his young lover's hair. "It would have an effect."

Misaki turned his head so he could see Usagi's face. "Huh? What would have an effect?" He'd already forgotten his earlier question; sex tended to be quite distracting.

"You would; if you died, the world would be affected in a huge way."

Misaki looked at him skepticly. "Yeah, right. I'm nothing to the world."

Usagi brushed the hair away from Misaki's face. "You underestimate yourself. You are, in fact, everything. If you ceased to exist, so would the world also." He leaned down and kissed Misaki gently.

Misaki blushed again. "Th-that's nonsense! The world isn't going to end just because I die!"

Usagi leaned down and kissed Misaki again. "It would for me. You are my world, Misaki."

Misaki's heart was beating wildly. Usagi always had this effect on him. Damn romance novelist; he knew exactly what to say. Still blushing, he decided to escape the situation. He quickly rolled off the couch and stood up. "I just remembered! Gotta go shopping!"

Usagi tried to stop him. "Shopping can wait."

"Not if you want dinner it can't!" He went back to the kitchen, intending to actually check the fridge for food this time. Suddenly, he was falling; something he had stepped on had rolled and he lost his balance.

"Misaki--!"

His head connected with the edge of the counter top and everything went black.

**I tried to make this one longer than the others, but I don't think I succeeded.....I'm not sure.....oh well! I hope you liked it! Please review!**

**Oh, and another note: If you were reading this from the weird beginning, I deleted the Hirowaki part......cuz the story changed directions and that part was no longer needed. Though I did like it......sadface......D:**


	4. Return to Normal?

**You know, this one gets harder and harder to write the more I try...I hope it's not turning into something that started out with a good idea and is now totally failing...but I suppose I'll find that out once I finally finish...whenever that will be. I seem to be slacking off lately. And who even knows why I chose now to work on this and post it...I just spent the whole day in the sun and I'm burnt and tired and I feel slightly ill (probably from too much sun) but I chose now to write. Maybe I just have to be in a weird mood to write...**

**Well, just ignore my ramblings and continue on to the semi-sensical story. The squiggly red line informs me that sensical is not a word, but I use it all the time, so it should be. :D  
**

_"I hear he's the one Usami Akihiko left everything to…"_

_ "No way, really?"_

Misaki walked quickly past the whispers and curious stares. That's all he'd been getting since he'd returned to school that morning. It had leaked to the papers that the famous novelist had left everything he owned and his entire fortune to someone he'd only known for a few years. He hadn't been mentioned by name, but everyone at school knew about Misaki being dropped off and picked up and possibly living with the novelist, so they immediately assumed it was him. They were right, of course. Not that Misaki was admitting anything; he got enough attention as it was.

Misaki entered his next class and sat in the nearest seat to the door. He was always on the lookout for quick exits these days. Looking around, he noticed he was the first one there; it was no surprise, since he had been speed-walking the whole way there.

"—already told you, I'm fine. You don't need to call so often, idiot!"

The classroom door opened and Hiroki walked in, talking on his cell. He stopped when he saw Misaki sitting there.

"I've got to go. Yeah…uh-huh….ok! Goodbye, Nowaki!" Hiro put his phone in his pocket.

"Um…good afternoon, Kamijou-sensei."

Hiro nodded. "Takahashi."

They stared at each other for a moment, neither seeming to know what to say. Hiro spoke first.

"I—"

Just as he started to say something, the door opened again and a group of girls entered the room. They stopped when they saw Hiro and Misaki then quickly walked past them to seats at the other end of the room.

Trying to ignore their stares, Hiro cleared his throat and started again. "I…er...well, I…just wanted to see how you were doing…" He trailed off nervously, not used to showing compassion towards students.

Misaki's eyes widened. Demon Kamijou was…_concerned_ about him? He hadn't even spoken to Misaki at the funeral, let alone showed that he cared how Misaki was taking the loss. More people came in, glancing at the two of them before walking quickly past.

"Um…I'm all right, I guess…" This was probably the most awkward conversation he'd ever had with a teacher.

"Well, if you, uh, need help or…something…um…yeah…"

Misaki could tell this was just as awkward for Hiro as it was for him. "Yeah…thanks, Sensei."

Hiro nodded again and then quickly turned away to walk to the front of the room. A girl who had been standing off to the side during all this came up and sat next to Misaki.

"What was that all about? Sensei actually seemed…_nervous_ or something!" Honami glanced at the normally angry man.

Misaki looked over at his friend and smiled. "He was, actually. I don't think he's used to showing students he has any feelings other than indifference and anger."

"So what did he want?"

"To check up on me. He and Usagi-san were childhood friends..."

"Ohh..." Honami looked at the teacher with new understanding and sympathy in her eyes. "This must be hard for him, too. I mean, he has known him a lot longer than you have..." Seeing the sad look on Misaki's face, she quickly backtracked. "No! I didn't mean that this is any less hard on you because you've only known him a few years! I mean, you guys were really close, like family and-"

"No, it's okay, Honami. I know you didn't mean it that way. You don't need to apologize." Though his voice and smile were sincere, his eyes were still sad.

"I'm still sorry, though..."

Class started just then so there was no further conversation.

**So...umm...yeah. Please review and I hope you enjoyed.**

**(I hope this was at least mostly coherently written, because I think the sun fried my brain along with my back, arms, legs, and face.) (lol)**

**oh, and a side note: Honami is someone I made up on the spot becuz I decided that Misaki has to have friends! He's not completely alone! And Honami was the first name I could come up with thanks to my foreign exchange student friend who now shares her name with a fictional character! ILUHONAMI! :D  
**


	5. Hearing Voices

**Hey guess what? I have discovered that I indeed must be in a strange mood to write anything. I can't just sit down and write cuz I just feel like it. No, it doesn't seem to work that way. I need to be either stressed or just really tired for some reason. Yesterday, I was extremely stressed. And thus, this section of the story, and the next, were born! xD i was still writing at midnight last night because I was determined to not get much sleep, and then I continued writing this morning when I randomly drove to the park because parks make me happy. LOL so anyway, enjoy! DANGER: PLOT TWIST! just warning you. :)**

_Please, wake up Misaki…_

Misaki woke suddenly, thinking he had heard a familiar voice speaking in his ear. Looking around his bedroom, he realized me must have been dreaming, because he was alone. But he could have sworn it was….

"No! It was just a dream!" Misaki berated himself. He got out of bed and quickly dressed before going downstairs. He opened the fridge, scanned the shelves, and closed it again. He wasn't really that hungry. He walked over to the couch and sat down. Looking around the overly near apartment, Misaki realized there was really nothing for him to do. No dirty laundry to pick up, no exploded egg messes, no…anything.

_Two weeks tomorrow…I can't believe it's already been that long._ Misaki pulled his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them. It was only in the last few days that he'd realized how lost he was without Usagi-san. The author had given him an eventful life, however annoying all the surprises had been. And, though it used to almost impossible to admit, he loved Usagi-san.

_I love you, Misaki._

Misaki jumped off the couch and looked around wildly. This time he was sure of it. He _had_ heard something.

_Don't leave me…I need you…_

There was no way it was possible, but there was also no way Misaki could ever mistake that voice.

"U-usagi-san?" Misaki asked aloud. There was no response. He tried again, louder. "Usagi-san?"

_Misaki…_

Misaki fell back onto the couch and put his head in his hands. He was losing it; hearing voices wasn't normal in the first place, but he was hearing the voice of someone who was _dead_.

_Misaki…_

"Stop it!" Misaki yelled. "I don't need anymore reminders! You're gone…and you're not coming back!"

The voice didn't reply. Misaki sat with his head in his hands, his body shaking as he tried to suppress the sobs fighting to escape.

**When I wrote this in my notebook, it was not split into two parts, but I'm splitting it now. To Be Continued...my least favorite words when I'm watching something and it's getting really intense...AND THEN IT JUST STOPS! So irritating...so, I'm spreading the irritation. You must now click on the button that takes you to the next part before you find out what evil plot twist I have thrown in. Well, I guess it's not evil, but whatever...:) Thanks for reading and please review! **


	6. Hospital

**AND COMMENCE THE PLOT TWISTING! I bet you didn't see this coming! :P**

Usagi had spent another restless night on a spare bed in Misaki's hospital room. In the two weeks since Misaki's accident, Usagi had barely slept. Takahiro had tried several times to get him to go home, telling him he'd soon be in the hospital himself if he didn't get some sleep, but Usagi refused. He didn't want to leave Misaki's side.

Sitting in the chair next to Misaki's bed, Usagi reached over and brushed a strand of hair away from the young man's eyes.

"I love you, Misaki," he said quietly, his hand caressing Misaki's pale cheek. "Please don't leave me. I need you." He watched Misaki's face for any reaction, any sign that inside the lifeless body, he was still there. After a moment, Usagi sighed and stood up. It wouldn't hurt to get some breakfast and there had been no changes….

"U-sag-i-san…"

Startled, Usagi looked back down at Misaki; he was the same as before, pale with no signs of life except for the slight rise and fall of his chest and the beeping of the monitors around him. But he could have sworn…

He turned to press the button that would call the nurse, but before he pressed it, he heard It again.

"Usagi-san…"

Usagi looked again and this time he saw: Misaki's lips were _moving_! He jabbed the call button repeatedly, never taking his eyes from Misaki's face, hoping against hope that it would happen again. A nurse burst into the room in a panic.

"Usami-san, what is the matter?" She went over to the machines and checked them all. "There's nothing abnormal here….what happened?"

"H-he spoke," Usagi answered, still not taking his eyes from Misaki's face. "I was talking to him and he said my name…"

"Really?" She stuck her head out in the hall and called to someone. A moment later a doctor came in. They proceeded to check Misaki over, going over the machine readouts again and again. Usagi watched from the foot of the bed.

"Misaki…."

"Stop it!" Misaki suddenly yelled out. His eyes flew open, then fluttered closed again. The heart monitor beeped uncontrollably for a moment, then settled back into it's steady rhythm as Misaki returned to his lifeless state. The doctor looked over the machine readouts once again.

"My guess, Usami-san," he said, turning to address Usagi. "Is that he is dreaming. Sometimes when people are in comas, they can be having a dream that to them seems completely real. He might have just been reacting to something in his dream. But we'll be keeping a closer watch on him; it's possible that he could be coming out of it."

"Thank you, Doctor," Usagi said. The doctor and the nurse left the room and Usagi returned to his seat by Misaki's bed. He took Misaki's hand in his and squeezed it gently. He was sure that Misaki had been reacting to what he had said, and if he could hear him then he would be able to hear him now.

"Wake up, Misaki. Everyone is waiting for you…"

**Well, did you see that coming? Haha! Thanks for reading and please review! :)**


	7. Caffeine

**So, yeah...another update for all y'all! I had a discussion with my friend the other day about how I needed an editor-like Aikawa or that editor chick in Fruits Basket-to come to my house and bother me whenever I'm not doing any writing. Because I apparently need stress to get anything done. HAHA. So anyway, enjoy!  
**

Misaki was exhausted; not sleeping for five straight days will do that to a person. Since the voice had first come to him, he had heard it three more times. Each time he had either been just about to fall sleep or just waking up. His panic-stricken mind eventually came to the conclusion that staying awake was the only way to avoid the phantom Usagi. Thus his caffeine and horror movie regime began.

Any time he started to feel groggy he would down a large cup of coffee or find a vending machine full of caffeinated sodas; if drinks were unavailable he substituted sugar for caffeine. His friends stared in astonishment as he washed down three candy bars with a cup of black coffee. At night, he watched horror movie after horror movie while doing his homework as slowly as possible.

As a result of all this, he was jittery and jumpy, the smallest things making him jump a mile. (He also visited the bathroom quite a lot.) When a classmate tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, he screamed and threw the book he was holding high into the air; it just missed a teacher on the way down.

"What is going on with you lately?" Honami asked him one day at lunch as she watched him drink yet another cup of coffee, his hands shaking violently. "You've had more caffeine this week than normal people have in a lifetime. Give me that!" She took the cup from Misaki's hand and threw it in the trash.

"Hey! I need that!"

"No, what you need is to explain yourself. You were fine a few days ago but suddenly you seem to have lost your mind! I—what?" Honami looked at him questioningly; he had flinched horribly at her words.

"How did you know?" he whispered, his blood-shot eyes wide.

"Er…how did I know what? You haven't actually lost your mind, have you?"

"I don't know, Honami! I really don't!" Misaki ran his fingers through his hair, causing it to stick up in all directions and adding to his crazed look. "I thought I was okay…but then _it_ happened." He glanced around nervously, as though he was expecting someone to jump at him from behind a tree or something.

Honami was confused. "_It_? What is _it_?"

"I...I've been...hearing things..."

"Hearing things? What kinds of things?"

Misaki looked around again, checking that no one was nearby to overhear. "I've been hearing...Usagi-san."

Honami stared at him, her eyes wide. "You've been hearing...a dead man? Misaki, how long has it been since you've slept?"

"Five days. Why?"

"Well that explains it, then. Go to sleep! Your brain is tired and you're imagining things!" She shook her head in exasperation. "Honestly, what have you been doing for five days instead of sleeping?"

"Drinking coffee, cleaning the apartment, homework, watching horror movies..."

"Why? Why don't you want to sleep?"

Misaki covered his face with his hands. "Because it's when I'm sleeping that it happens," he said, his voice muffled. "Every time I've heard him, it's been when I was falling asleep or waking up. I just...I just didn't want to be reminded anymore. So I figured..."

"You figured that if you never went to sleep, you wouldn't hear things anymore?" Honami sighed. "How long did you think that could last? If you keep up like this, you're going to make yourself sick!"

_Misaki, can you hear me?_

Misaki jumped up in alarm; Honami stood up, too, alarmed. "Misaki? What's wrong?"

"Again! I heard it again! No! I'm not even asleep!" He looked positively manic.

_Misaki...wake up. It's me, Takahiro..._

"Nii-chan?" Now he was hearing his brother's voice; something wasn't right.

"Misaki...?" Honami's voice was getting fainter and she seemed to be drifting away from him.

"Honami? Wait, what's going on?" Misaki tried to follow after her, but he couldn't move. Everything was being covered by a thick fog and he couldn't see anyone anymore. He was all alone in a sea of dark swirling fog...his limbs were so heavy...he just wanted to sleep...

_Misaki...wake up, Misaki...we're right here...you can hear us, can't you...?_

_Yeah...I can hear you...but...who...who are you...? Where am I...? What...what is going on...?_ The fog was messing with his head. He didn't know what was happening anymore, couldn't remember who the voices that were all around him belonged to. He wasn't even quite sure who he was anymore...

**Aw, I bet you thought I was going to keep going, didn't you? How silly! Again, I'm spreading the irritation. TO BE CONTINUED! *dun dun duuuuuunnnn* Haha! Thanks for reading and please review! I love getting input!**_  
_


	8. Waking Up

**BUAHAHAHAHA! Ok, that was a totally random manic laugh...but it's better than if I had started out saying "Blargh!" which is how I keep starting my conversations on IM with people...sorry, I'm just in a weird mood right now that causes me to say really random and stupid things...I'll shut up now...**

_Nnnnnghh…that noise….what is that? That beeping….my alarm? Am I late for school? Why didn't Nii-chan wake me up…? Wait….is that…snoring? Why would someone else be snoring in my room? What's going on…? I need to get up….but my body…it's so heavy…and there's something on my arm...what...?_

Misaki opened his eyes slowly. As everything came into focus, he realized he wasn't at home in his room but in what seemed to be a hospital room. He turned his head to look around and discovered that the beeping was coming from various monitors all connected to his body with tubes and wires. He turned to look the other way and found the source of the snoring-Takahiro was asleep in a chair next to the bed, his mouth wide open.

_"_Nii-chan..." Misaki tried to get his brother's attention, but his mouth was so dry that it came out as a hoarse whisper; he swallowed and tried again. "Nii-chan..." Takahiro shifted a bit in his chair, but didn't wake up.

"Misaki...?"

Misaki looked towards to door to see a tall man with silver hair staring at him with wide eyes. The man quickly approached the bed and grabbed his hand. "You're awake! You're finally awake! Takahiro!" He kicked the chair legs, startling Takahiro awake.

"Usagi...? What is-Misaki!" Takahiro sat up straight and leaned in towards Misaki. "You're awake! How are you-Doctor!" A doctor had walked in after the tall man. "Doctor, he's awake!"

Takahiro and the man were ushered out of the room by a nurse and when they were allowed back in awhile later, they were accompanied by a woman holding a small child. The child grinned and shouted, "Mitaki!" before his mother shushed him.

"All right," the doctor said. "I'm going to ask you a few easy questions and I want you to answer them the best you can. First question: What is your name?"

"Takahashi Misaki."

"Next question: How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

Someone gave a small gasp-it sounded like the woman. The doctor looked at him for a moment before continuing. "Really. Next: How many people in this room do you recognize?" He gestured towards Takahiro and the others.

Misaki looked at them, searching their faces. "Just one; Takahiro, my brother."

The doctor made a notation on the clipboard he was carrying. "All right, thank you, Misaki. That's all I need from you right now. Will the rest of you please come with me into the hallway for a moment?"

Misaki watched them all file out; the woman had tears in her eyes and the silver-haired man looked almost as though someone had stabbed him. They shut the door behind them and Misaki was left by himself to wonder what was going on. How did he end up in the hospital? He didn't remember having any sort of accident. The last thing he remembered was opening the door to the apartment and then...someone...someone was there. But who was it? Misaki pondered this while he waited for everyone to come back.

The door opened a few minutes later and Takahiro came back in, alone. He sat in his previously vacated chair and stared at Misaki.

Nervously, Misaki asked one of the questions he'd been pondering for the past few minutes. "Um...Nii-chan? Why am I in the hospital? I don't remember being sick or anything..."

Takahiro looked at him sadly and sighed. "You weren't sick; it was an accident. It wasn't anything major like a car or train accident, if that's what you're thinking. You just...hit your head."

"Oh." Misaki tried to remember any incidents in which he had hit his head; nothing came to him. "When was that? I don't remember..."

"What's the last thing you _do_ remember, Misaki?" Takahiro's eyes were very serious; it was making Misaki nervous.

"Well...I was walking home from school...I opened the apartment door and then...um..." He thought hard, trying to bring the memories to the surface but they seemed to be stuck. "There was...someone there...but I can't..."

"And how old are you, Misaki?"

Misaki looked at his brother in confusion. "Why are you asking that? You know how old I am! I'm seventeen, a third-year high school student."

"No, Misaki, you're not." Takahiro reached out and laid his hand over his brother's. "You're a twenty-one year old university student. What you're remembering happened over four years ago."

"No, no I'm not. What are you talking about?"

"The woman who was here earlier, she's my wife and the little boy is your nephew, Mahiro. The man is an old friend of mine, Usami Akihiko, who you've been living with for over three years. You hit your head when you slipped and fell in the kitchen and you've been in a coma for almost a month. You don't remember any of this?"

Misaki stared at him, his eyes wide and confused, searching his brother's face for any sign that he was being lied to, that this was all some elaborate prank. "I...I don't...no, that can't be true. You don't even have a girlfriend, Nii-chan! And I've never seen that guy before! I...I've never...right?" He asked desperately, wanting to be reassured.

"The doctor said that memory loss is a common side-effect when people come out of a coma. It almost always comes back, given time." Takahiro stood up. "I'm going to go talk to the doctor some more. Would you like him to come in and explain more to you?"

Misaki, dazed and confused, just shook his head. Takahiro gave him a small smile. "Mahiro is really anxious to see you, if you're okay with that. He's been upset that you've just been sleeping instead of talking and playing with him. Should I let him come in?"

"Uh...yeah, sure..."

Takahiro left the room and the other three returned. The woman, his brother's wife, brought the little boy over to Misaki; Mahiro practically jumped from his mother's arms into Misaki's lap, squealing, "Mitaki! Mitaki!" The man, Usami, stood quietly off to the side, that same look of pain on his face.

**...this one I'm pretty sure I might go back and re-write sometime. My limited coma knowledge comes mostly from Wikipedia, so excuse me if it sounds really stupid. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	9. Wiping the Floor

**EDIT: Just fixing a few things I didn't notice when I reread it and changing a few sentences. Nothing major. Just fyi if you're wondering why I uploaded this same chapter again! :)**

**Nothing really to say today...so, skip the bold letters and read the story cuz I worked super-duper hard on it! Ok, that's a lie. But read it anyway! :)**

"All right, Misaki, I'll get going," Takahiro said, putting on his shoes. "I'll call you the minute I get home, okay? Just to make sure you're still doing alright."

Misaki smiled reassuringly. "I told you, I'll be fine, Nii-chan. I'm older than I think I am, right? And hasn't Usami-san already told you he'll look after me?"

"Several times," commented the man in question from his seat on the couch. He rose and approached the brothers, stopping next to Misaki. "He hasn't forgotten how to cook, so we'll get along fine."

"Well, if you're sure…" Takahiro gave Misaki a tight hug, ruffling his hair as he let go. "I _am_ going to call you. Everyday. And don't forget your doctor's appointments twice a week."

"I won't."

"Get plenty of rest and don't try to overdo anything. And the second you start to remember something I want you to call me and—"

"Okay, okay! I know, Nii-chan! Now get going, you're gonna miss your train." Misaki pushed his brother out the door and waved him down the hallway. Closing the door, he leaned against it and closed his eyes. A protective older brother could be stifling at normal times, but for the last two weeks he'd been _suffocating_. Misaki made a mental note never to put himself in a coma again. But Takahiro had missed a lot of work over the last month and needed to get back and so Misaki was left alone with the man he should, but didn't know.

Misaki opened his eyes and looked around the apartment. He'd been back for almost a week, yet nothing felt familiar. Not even his bedroom felt like his. There were things in there he recognized, things he'd had for awhile, but most of the room was unfamiliar.

The rest of the apartment was like an alien planet to him, especially the bedroom of the great author-a grown man filling his bedroom with children's toys? Not to mention the bear room; Misaki, curious about the contents of the unknown room, was nearly crushed by an avalanche of stuffed bears, all—according to Usami-san—named Suzuki-san. The largest of the Suzuki's joined them regularly for meals and was never far from Usami's side.

_Must be like a security blanket or something_, Misaki thought, his eyes moving to rest on the bear, which was on the couch next to Usami. Misaki walked over and sat opposite him. Usami glanced up at him then returned his attention to the manuscript he was reading. It was quiet for awhile, the only sound the rustling of paper when Usami turned a page.

"Er…" Misaki started awkwardly, not sure if he should speak. "What…what do you have going on today…? Um…anything, uh, interesting?"

"Aikawa's coming to get the manuscript," Usami answered, turning another page. "We've had to push the deadline back several times already so she's been bothering me to get it finished."

"Oh. Why did you have to push the deadline back?"

Usami looked up at him with an expression that was half amused, half pained. "Well, I've been a little preoccupied lately. I haven't been home much and I didn't have my laptop."

Misaki flushed. "I'm sorry..."

"No need to apologize. I'm just glad you're awake again. You had us all pretty worried."

"Um...can I ask you a question? About...before?"

"Before?"

"Before my...accident or whatever you want to call it."

"Of course. What is it?" Usami was giving Misaki his full attention now, his eyes serious. Misaki cleared his throat and looked down at his knees. He wasn't sure why, but having him stare at him like that made his heart pound.

"I was just wondering...I know you were Nii-chan's friend and all, but how...? How did I end up here? Why did you decide to let me stay with you?" He looked back up at Usami-san. "Do we have something in common that led us to be friends? How did it all happen?"

Usami just looked at him. He seemed to be considering how to answer this question. Just when he opened his mouth to say something, the doorbell rang. And rang. And rang. And then a woman burst through the door, and loudly announced, "I'm here for the manuscript and it better be finished because I am completely prepared to stay here all day long! Oh!" She saw the two of them sitting there looking all serious and immediately rushed to hug Misaki. "Oh Misaki-kun! I'm so sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital! Busy busy, you know how it is! Or I guess you don't!" She let go and sat down next to him. "It's so tragic, you losing your memory like that! It would make a good story though..." She directed this towards Usami, raising her eyebrows at him.

Usami sighed. "Yes, yes, I'll think about it. Now will you just take the manuscript and go? It was peaceful before you arrived."

"There's no time for me to take it and read it later. The deadline is tomorrow night! I already wasted five whole seconds ringing the doorbell because I couldn't find the key right away! No sir, we are going to sit here and go through the whole thing until it's PERFECT!" She grabbed the manuscript up from the table and flipped through it. "If we start now, I can be gone in a few hours at most!"

Usami sighed again, resigning himself. "Fine. I'm sorry, Misaki. Is it alright if we talk later?"

Misaki stood up. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll just get out of your way. Good luck with your work." He quickly walked around the couch and went upstairs. Looking back from the top, he saw Usami-san and Aikawa-san already engrossed in their work. He went to his bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.

_I wonder what he was going to say...? I still haven't got an answer..._ Misaki slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor and hugged his knees. Trying to live a life he couldn't remember was...well, he couldn't really think of an adequate word to describe it. Mostly, it just sucked. Rolling onto the floor, Misaki lay flat and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't think of anything to do with his day, seeing as how he didn't remember any of his friends or anything else related to his current life...

_"What are you doing?" _This question suddenly popped into his head as he lay there on the floor._  
_

"Wiping the floor..." Misaki muttered. This seemed like the correct answer.

_"Hell of an inefficient way of doing it..."_

Misaki sat up. A memory-that's what it was. What else could it be? He left the bedroom and peeked downstairs where Usami and Aikawa were working. _I'll ask him about it later, when he's not busy, _Misaki decided and he went back to his room to wait for something else to come to him.

**I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense...reading over it, I'm not completely sure if it does...I don't really like some of it, but I'm not sure how I want to fix it right now, so I'm just going to leave it alone for the time being. And that floor thing? If you've watched the anime, you might recognize it. I don't remember the exact episode...(I looked through the episodes but couldn't find it, but I wasn't thorough so no surprise)...but that is in there. LOL Thanks for reading and please review!**


	10. Suzuki

**This is getting hard to write...MUST KEEP IDEA GOING! Though the chapters do seem to get longer every time...LoL I'm so inconsistent.**

Aikawa gone now, Usagi knocked lightly on Misaki's bedroom door.

"Misaki?"

No reply. He opened it a crack and peered inside; not seeing Misaki, he opened the door wider, wondering where the young man had gone. He stopped short when he saw Misaki lying flat on the floor.

"Misaki?"

Usagi dropped to his knees beside him and was about to start shaking him when Misaki began to mumble.

"...no...they're _purple_..."

Usagi sat back and signed in relief. He was just sleeping...

"...purple..." Misaki mumbled. Clearly his dream was quite purple.

Watching Misaki's sleeping face, Usagi couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness. He found it hard to suppress the urge to wake Misaki and never let him sleep again. Before, he'd found Misaki adorable when he slept, but now it scared him. He much preferred having Misaki awake; it made him happy to see Misaki's wide green eyes looking back at him.

Even since Misaki had been home again, Usagi hadn't been sleeping well. He'd get up several times every night to check on Misaki, watching him quietly from the doorway, not moving until Misaki snored or rolled over or did anything, really. As long as he showed signs of life, Usagi was reassured.

"...one-eyed...purple..." Misaki rolled onto his side and mumbled some more.

Usagi chuckled. Misaki's dream apparently had an excess of purple in it. Carefully, he gathered Misaki in his arms and stood up; he walked over to the bed and gently laid Misaki on it, trying not to wake him. Before he turned to go, he ruffled Misaki's hair lightly.

"I love you, Misaki," he whispered, then turned to leave. He closed the door behind him and left Misaki to his nap.

"...baka-Usagi..."

Misaki rolled over and slept on.

* * *

Footsteps pounding down the stairs interrupted Usagi's quiet reverie. He'd been lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, but sat up to investigate the sound. Misaki ran down the stairs, jumping the last two, and rushed into the kitchen.

"Careful, Misaki," Usagi cautioned him. "Remember how you got hurt in the first place."

"Yeah, I remember-well, no, I don't...but whatever. I woke up and looked at the clock and realized I should have started dinner an hour ago!" Misaki started pulling things out of the fridge. "I'm sorry, Usami-san. I'll have something ready soon, I promise."

"Take your time, I'm in no hurry." Usagi walked over and stood next to the counter, watching Misaki begin the dinner preparations. "While you're doing that, I have a question for you."

"Yes?"

"What were you doing on the floor?"

"Oh, that," Misaki said, starting to chop some vegetables. "Actually, I was gonna tell you about that...when I was lying there, I remembered doing it before...lying on the floor, I mean. Something about wiping the floor...does that mean anything to you?"

Usagi thought for a moment. "Wiping the floor...yes, I think I remember that. I came in and asked you what you were doing on the floor..."

"Yeah, that's it. Do you remember what I was actually doing on the floor? Because I don't think I was cleaning..."

Usagi smiled. "No, sorry. I don't think you ever told me what you were really doing."

"Oh..."

"Have you remembered anything else? Anything...important?" This was a loaded question, though Misaki didn't know it.

Misaki thought for a moment. "Well...I was looking through my school stuff, and a lot of it was familiar to me. So I guess I remember all the stuff I've learned, even if I don't remember learning it. That's important, right?"

"Yeah...that's important." Usagi turned away from the kitchen. "I'm going to my office to work. Call me when dinner is ready, okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry it's so late."

"It's fine." Usagi walked slowly to his office, more disappointed than he knew he should be. It would take some time for Misaki's memories to return; the reason he was living with him instead of Takahiro was because familiar surroundings were more likely to trigger memories. But he couldn't keep himself from hoping...

Half an hour later, Misaki's voice came from the direction of the kitchen. "Dinner!"

Usagi reemerged, picking up Suzuki-san on his way to the table. He set the bear in an empty chair and sat down himself. Misaki approached the table, a bowl in each hand.

"I hope soup is oka-AHH!"

Somehow, Misaki had managed to trip on a completely flat surface and the bowls went flying. One hit the table and splattered all over Usagi; the other landed directly on top of Suzuki-san. Misaki looked up from the floor to see a very surprised Usagi, his hair dripping. He stood up quickly and ran to fetch a towel. Usagi watched, still a little surprised by the hot soup attack. Though, looking at Suzuki-san, he recalled that something similar had happened before...but only the bear had been given a soup bath that time.

"I'm so sorry! That was an accident, I swear!" Misaki handed the towel to Usagi and then looked at the bear. "Oh no," he moaned. "Suzuki-san is drenched...I'm so, so sorry! I'll get him cleaned, Usagi-san, I promise! I'll pay for it myself! I'll...I'll...ummm...why are you looking at me like that?" Misaki asked, bewildered. Usagi's mouth was wide open and his eyes looked like they might fall out of his head. "Did I say something weird?"

Usagi continued to stare at him. "Wh-what did you just call me?"

"Um..."

"You called me 'Usagi-san,' didn't you?"

Misaki started to turn red. "I...did I? I don't know, I was kind of panicking and not paying attention to what I was saying...do you not want me to call you that?"

"No, I want you to!" Usagi grinned at him, the soup covering him forgotten. "It's what you called me before."

"Really? Then...why didn't you tell me? I would have been calling you that instead of Usami-san!" Misaki's face was bright red. Apparently his lack of memory embarrassed him. He picked Suzuki-san up and took the giant bear towards the front door. "I'm gonna take Suzuki-san to the cleaners down the street. You should get washed up! And order some take-out!" He put on his shoes and closed the door behind him.

Usagi chuckled and went to take a shower.

* * *

"The lady at the cleaners laughed when I told her what happened...apparently this has happened before," Misaki said, sounding a little miffed.

Usagi chewed his take-out quietly, a smirk on his face.

"Am I really that clumsy? How many times have I spilled on that bear?" He stuck some food in his mouth and chewed moodily.

"This would be the second time," Usagi said, still smirking. "You were extremely apologetic that time, too. Said you'd do anything to make it up to me."

"Well, yeah, I feel bad!"

"So you'd do anything?"

"I guess so...within reason. I'm not gonna jump off the balcony or swim to China or something..."

"I wouldn't dream of having you do such a thing."

Misaki stood up, holding his empty take-out container. "Are you done? I'll throw it away for you."

"Yes, thank you." Usagi stood up and stretched his arms over his head, yawning. "It's been a long day. It'll be hard to sleep without Suzuki-san, but I suppose I'll manage..."

Misaki came back from the kitchen. "I said I was sorry..."

"I was merely stating a fact."

"You have a whole room full of Suzuki-san's; can't you sleep with one of them?" Misaki gestured towards the bear room, a place he had avoided since he had been buried in the bear-avalanche.

Usagi sighed. "It's not the same...none of the others are as big. A substitute would have to be much bigger...say, Misaki-sized..."

"Huh? What are you-!"

Usagi grabbed Misaki from behind, wrapping his arms around his body so that he couldn't move.

"See? You're the perfect size..." Usagi breathed in Misaki's ear. The young man seemed too surprised to react; Usagi could feel Misaki's heart pounding and his face was so red he could almost feel the heat coming off of him. Before Misaki could explode, Usagi released his hold and stepped back.

"Good night, Misaki," he said, walking around the frozen Misaki and going upstairs. He looked back from the top of the stairs: Misaki was still frozen where he had left him, a look of shock and bewilderment on his face. Usagi sighed sadly; how he had wanted to keep holding Misaki, but it wouldn't do to try and force him to remember. Better to wait for the memories to come back on their own, though hopefully that had triggered something...

**Haha soup shower! LOL Alright, I'm going to submit this now before I have the chance to look at it too closely...I have a feeling that if I read it enough times I'll not like it and want to delete it...even though it's taken me the last...lemme see...2 hours (in between doing other stuff) to finish this. Haha! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	11. Talking to the Voices

**Alright, time to pick on poor Misaki some more! :D**

Misaki was still standing there long after he had heard Usagi's bedroom door close. His heart-rate was out of control and his face felt like it was on fire. Slowly, he let himself sink to the floor, taking deep, calming breaths.

_"_Why am I freaking out like this...?" he muttered. "A man should not have this effect on me..."

_But that felt...nice..._

Misaki shook his head vigorously to rid it of this thought. Thinking weird things was not helping.

_But...it really did feel nice...like, it was something normal...something that I was used to..._

"No! Being hugged by a man is not normal!" And now he was talking to himself.

_How do I know? I don't remember how I've been living my life...for all I know, I'm a stripper in my spare time!_

"That's ridiculous! Stop thinking such stupid things!"

_I can't help it. Usagi-san has been distant...not that I know if he was this way before or not...but suddenly, he's looking at me with that little smirk on his face, teasing me...and hugging me. Why would he do that if he didn't know he could get away with it? He hasn't explained our relationship yet...maybe it's more than I think...  
_

Misaki could feel himself turning red again. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" he said, smacking himself repeatedly on the forehead. "There's nothing weird going on! He was just teasing me!"

_"_Misaki...?"

Misaki's head spun around so fast his neck cracked. Rubbing his now sore neck, he looked over more slowly to see Usagi standing at the foot of the stairs observing his conversation with himself with a concerned and slightly alarmed expression.

"Oh! Usagi-san! I, uh...I was just..." Misaki stood up quickly, his face scarlet. "I was just...well..."

"Talking to yourself?"

"Well...yeah, kind of...but what about you, Usagi-san? I thought you were going to bed?"

Usagi walked slowly towards him. "I was thirsty. Misaki...are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine! Totally fine! Never better!" Misaki laughed loudly. "Why do you ask?"

"You were talking to yourself and smacking yourself in the head. Why wouldn't I ask?"

"Oh, well, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about, Usagi-san," Misaki said, his voice fake cheery. He walked quickly forward and around Usagi, then went up the stairs two at a time. "Good night!" He hurried to his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

_Gah! Why did I react like that?_

"I'm just a little...frazzled. Yeah, frazzled. Frazzled is a good word for it..."

_Really? Frazzled?_

"Shut up!"

_It's more like twitterpated..._

"I am not twitterpated! And no one uses that word anyway!"

_Except, apparently, me. _

"I have got to stop talking to myself..." Misaki sighed and flopped onto his bed. He stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the voice in his head. When that didn't work, he reached over to his bedside table and picked up the mp3 player that was there. Turning the volume up to max, he put the earbuds in his ears and drowned out the irritating voice with the unfamiliar music. He eventually fell asleep this way.

**Durhurhur! (lolidk) SHORT CHAPTER! Cuz I'm stuck...SERIOUSLY STUCK! Which is why it's taken so long to update in the first place...so here you go! Misaki is talking to the voices in his head...I'm pretty sure there's help for that...LOL Thanks for reading and please review!**


	12. FIN

**Soooo...HAPPY CHRISTMAS! I know, I know, it's not ACTUALLY Christmas anymore...but I was working on this all through Christmas, so consider it my Christmas present to you! :D  
**

_Misaki…_

_"Stop it!" Misaki yelled. "I don't need anymore reminders! You're gone…and you're not coming back!"_

_The voice didn't reply. Misaki sat with his head in his hands, his body shaking as he tried to suppress the sobs fighting to escape._

Misaki woke abruptly, the ear-buds in his ears silent. He'd fallen asleep listening to music again. He pulled them out with shaking hands and sat up slowly. "What a strange dream...again," he muttered. He shivered violently, but not from cold. For the last week, since the hug incident, he'd been having these dreams. Dreams that made him feel lost and alone though he didn't really remember what the dreams had been about.

Hugging his arms around himself, he looked around, expecting to see something out of the ordinary, but it was all normal; or as normal as it can be when you're missing half of your memories. Misaki looked at his clock and was surprised to see that it was almost noon. he got out of bed and left his room, wondering why Usagi hadn't woken him up to make breakfast.

It was quiet in the apartment- -too quiet, actually. The kind of quiet that screamed, "You're alone! There's no one here!" Misaki checked all the downstairs rooms before going back to check Usagi's bedroom. The bed was made which meant it hadn't been slept in the previous night. He checked Usagi's office next- -his laptop was on the desk, closed and cold. So it hadn't been an all-nighter that had kept Usagi out of his bed. Next he checked the couch for signs it had been slept on. No blankets or pillows, just Suzuki-san.

"Where is he?" Misaki wondered aloud, sitting down next to the bear. "Suzuki-san is right where i left him...no. I didn't leave him here. I took him to the cleaners...he shouldn't be back yet..." Misaki grabbed the bear and inspected it. Due to some unexpected incidents, the cleaners had to postpone Suzuki-san's cleaning and had informed them that the bear would be back later than expected. But it was the Suzuki-san he remembered spilling soup on...or had he? Suzuki-san didn't look like he'd just been to the cleaners...but then again, Usagi took ridiculously good care of that bear so there wouldn't be much difference anyway.

_It does smell like soap,_ he noted, hugging the bear. _It smells like soap...and Usagi-san..._ He breathed in deep, closing his eyes. _It's a nice smell. Wait...it smells like Usagi-san? How do I even know what Usagi-san smells like? Stop thinking weird thoughts brain!  
_

_A deep sadness welled up inside Misaki's heart; he wrapped his arms around the bear and buried his face into it, seeking comfort from something Usagi-san had held dear._

Misaki's eyes flew open and he shoved the bear way from him. "What...? What's wrong with me?" Confused at his sadness, he stared hard at the bear, trying to figure out why it would make him feel this way. The ringing of the doorbell caused him to jump up in fright. "U-uh...coming!"

"Delivery for Takahashi Misaki." It was an enormous bouquet of roses.

"Wow!" Misaki said, bringing them to the coffee table, the only available surface not already covered in flowers. He'd received many of them since returning home. "Another one? And this one is huge!" Reaching into the bouquet, he found a card addressed to him. "'I'm sorry for your loss...' My loss? What does that...?" Suddenly, the image of a newscaster came to him. "_Yesterday, hundreds mourned the loss of renowned author, Usami Akihiko. Usami, age 31, died unexpectedly of natural causes on Monday..._"

He dropped the bouquet, his mind freezing up.

_...loss of renowned author, Usami Akihiko..._

"No...no, that's..."

_...Usami, age 31, died unexpectedly..._

"That can't...it can't be..."

..._died..._

Why did these thoughts hurt so much? The thought of Usagi being gone..._  
_

_DIED._

"No!_" _Misaki threw himself towards the phone and began dialing as quickly as possible. "Come on...pick up...pick up, pick up, pick up Usagi-san! Pick u- -oh! Usagi-san! Where are-"

"_The number you have dialed is out of the calling area or has been switched off. Please check that you have dialed the correct number. The number you have dialed is out of the calling area or has been switched off. Please check that-"_

Misaki slammed the phone back down. _This can't be right...those were just dreams, weren't they?_ His hands were shaking; he clasped them tightly together to make them stop. _Think, Misaki! Who can you call to make sure he's ok? Aikawa-san...? But I can't remember her number...ummm...who else? Who else? _He picked the phone back up and dialed the only number that was coming to him. _Nii-chan, of course! He can tell me if I'm crazy!_

_"__Hello, Takaha-"_

"Onee-chan! It's me, Misaki! Is Nii-chan there?"

_"Oh, Misaki-kun! Yes, he's here...I'll get him. Is everything all right? You sound very flustered."_

_"_I just...I really need to talk to him! Please!" He was trying desperately to keep the panic out of his voice, but was failing miserably. Manami didn't question him any further.

"_All right, I'll go get him. Just hold on a moment, ok, Misaki-kun?"_

_"_Th-thanks..." He heard her set the phone down and walk away. Misaki began to pace back and forth in front of the phone, wishing desperately and accomplishing nothing except entangling himself in the phone cord.

"_...Misaki? Hello?"_

Misaki stopped trying to unwind himself. "Nii-chan!"

"_Manami says something's wrong. What's going on? Are you all right?" _

"I'm fine! It's not me!"

_"It's not you? Then it's Usagi? What's wrong with him?"_

Misaki's body immediately relaxed. He was so relieved that he dropped where he stood, his knees giving way beneath him. The phone was pulled down with him and it clattered onto the floor.

_"Misaki? Misaki, what was that noise? Are you ok?"_

_"_Yeah...yeah, I'm fine. I just- -I just knocked the phone down, that's all. Thank you, Nii-chan. That's all I wanted."

"_Wait, Misaki-!"_ Misaki put the phone back on the cradle, or at least attempted to, since he was still tangled up in it. Instead of extracting himself from the cord, he just sat there, his entire body limp with relief, tears flowing freely. Everything was okay. If something had happened to Usagi-san, Takahiro surely would have known about it.

"Why...why am I so happy? Why did the thought of losing Usagi-san make me hurt so badly inside? Why...?" Misaki rubbed his eyes, trying to make the tears stop. "Why should he matter so much to me?"

_I love you, Misaki..._

_"_Love..."

_I love you._

The sudden realization hit him so hard he actually gasped.

_I love you, Misaki._

_"_I...I love you...Usagi-san..."

With just that one sentence, years of memories came flooding back. Every word, every kiss, every touch. Joy, sadness, jealousy- -every feeling they'd shared, all of it came back in a rush. Misaki found himself crying harder now, all the emotions mixing together and becoming overwhelming. He buried his face in his hands.

_I love you, Misaki._

_"_I love you, Usagi-san," Misaki sobbed. "I really do..."

At the sound of the door opening, Misaki's head snapped up. "I'm home, Misaki. Are you here?" Usagi-san came into the room to find the tangled and emotional Misaki staring at him with wide, blood-shot eyes. "Misaki...? What's...what's going on?"

Misaki's heart practically leapt into his throat. "U...Usagi!" It came out as a sort of strangled sob. Misaki stood up and stumbled towards Usagi. "Usagi-san!" He flung himself at the astonished Usagi, the phone trailing behind him, the cord still wrapped around his legs. Usagi caught him as he tripped, keeping him from hitting the floor.

"Misaki! What-" He didn't finish his question. Misaki reached up to wind his arms around Usagi's neck, his lips seeking out those of the older man. Usagi stiffened in surprise, caught off guard by this sudden assault. Misaki pulled away, tears still streaming down his face.

"I love you, Usagi-san." He tightened his arms around Usagi's neck, hugging the older man with all his might.

Usagi pulled away this time, confusion written clearly across his face. "Misaki...what...what's going on? You...you're...your memories?"

The younger man nodded vigorously. "I remember. I remember it all. I remember _you_, Usagi-san!" Misaki grinned through his tears. "It feels so good to remember!"

Usagi leaned forward and pressed his lips to Misaki's ferociously, all the pent up sadness and frustration finally released. When they broke apart, both of them gasping for breath, Usagi crushed Misaki to him, not wanting to let him go ever again. "I love you, Misaki."

"I love you, too, Usagi-san. I'm so glad you're not dead..."

"Dead?" Usagi tilted Misaki's face up to look at him. "When did I die?"

"Well, I think it was a dream...people can dream in comas, you know? So I think that was part of my dream..."

"Explain."

"Well, all week I've been having these strange dreams. Then, earlier, when I finally got up, I was holding Suzuki-san...then there was this bouquet of floweres...and the card said..."

_Takahashi Misaki, age 21. Happily ever after? Only time will tell._

**Hey guess what? THE END. FIN. Hallelujah, I'm finally finished! I hope you enjoyed the story while it lasted and I'm sorry if the ending is not satisfactory. But I'm DONE. And personally, I'm quite proud. This is the only story I've ever finished! :D**

**Thanks, everyone who has been reading, and to those of you who left reviews: ILU! It was super helpful to know that people were reading and paying attention to my story! Also, thank you to my laptop and my media player which helped with this last chapter. xD The Gravitation soundtrack and the new Linkin Park cd were the soundtrack for this chapter.**

**Thank you for reading and please review!  
**


	13. Lost chapter

**WELL HAI THAR! =D You thought the story was finished, right? WELL YOU WERE-CORRECT! The story is finished! This is the lost(deleted) Hirowaki chapter that originally was chapter...3? Yeah, I think it was 3. Anywho, I liked this chapter and was sad I had to take it out, but it was no longer part of the plot. Originally, Usagi was DEAD. As a doornail. Which was never alive to begin with so that saying is stupid, but you get my meaning, right? =P But then suddenly, I changed the whole direction of the story and he wasn't actually dead and then this chapter was no longer needed and I replaced it with the current chapter 3...blahblahblah. You get my point.**

**SO, ENJOY THIS EXTRA, NON-PLOT RELATED CHAPTER. I just thought it was a waste, having it sit here in my laptop, not being read...  
**

Nowaki opened the door and stepped into the dark bedroom. The curtains over the windows were drawn tight and the only light came from the digital clock by the bed. He walked over and sat carefully on the edge.

"Are you awake?" He spoke softly, just in case the answer was no.

"…yeah…" Hiro's voice was quiet and raspy.

"Do you want something to eat? It's almost lunch time."

Nowaki felt Hiro shift and roll over. "…no. I'm not hungry."

"Hiro-san…" Nowaki turned to look at him. In the dim light from the clock Hiro's face was visible, staring towards the ceiling.

"…I just…I can't believe it. Akihiko…" Hiro's voice broke and he shut his eyes tightly. "Up until yesterday, I was still denying it…denying reality…but now…now I…"

Nowaki reached out to stroke his lover's hair. "I know, Hiro-san. I know. You loved him…"

"No!" Hiro sat up suddenly, startling Nowaki. "That's not it! I mean…well, for a long time, I did love him. But not anymore…at least, not in that way. He's my best friend." He hugged his knees to his chest. "Still, it feels…like there's a hole. A big, gaping hole, straight through my heart."

Nowaki could feel his heart breaking along with Hiro's. the man he loved was in pain and there was nothing he could do to take that pain away. He leaned over and pulled Hiro in close. "It's okay, Hiro-san. I understand."

Hiro's shoulders shook as his tears soaked into Nowaki's shirt. "Akihiko…"

They stayed that way for a long time.

**LOL how OOC is Hiro-san? Well, it's supposed to be a sappy emotional piece, so being slightly OOC is what works! And I'm sure even Hiro-san can act like this when someone close to him dies! SO THERE! /shot/ (DUUUUUUDE, this was written MONTHS AGO. Like, you don't even know, this was so long ago. I don't even remember exactly when LMAO) Well, now I'm done with this story. Like, completely done this time. No more random "lost chapters." xD As always, thanks for reading and please review! HAPPY FRIDAY GUYS! (or whatever day of the week you happen to read this)**

**EDIT: PFFFFTBAHAHAHAHAHA! Dudes, I posted this super early in the morning, went to sleep a few hours later, and then when I woke up, the traffic for the entire story had EXPLODED! Why does this entertain me so much? Who even knows, but thanks for reading guys! xD Hope you enjoyed it.  
**


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